I Don't Understand How This Happened

Nearly five years ago, I was curled up in a ball crying my eyes out. I had my first baby and if I can be real, I knew that my life was over because of it. I was so upset and for the first time in my life I felt real depression and I couldn’t do anything to make it go away.

I recall a specific instance where Steve came home from work to find my BFF Heather on the couch holding my new baby and me bawling in bed. Steve came in and held me and told me my life wouldn’t be over, it was just going to be different for a while. He told me that she wouldn’t be a baby forever and soon she would sleep through the night and before we knew it she’d grow up and in three years we could put her in pre-school.

I remember finding great comfort in the fact that it was temporary and that someday she would grow up and I could have my life back.

Turns out, that depression I had only lasted about 6 weeks and then Poof, it was gone and I haven’t felt it since.

Anyway, when she turned three, I couldn’t bear to let her go to preschool. She was my best bud and ally. Now she is nearly five and it is obvious that she is ready to fly the coop, at least for a few hours a day.

Last week, she had her first day of preschool.

I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe I have had her for 5 years. It seems like 18 months tops.

Isn’t she adorable?

Not only is she adorable, she is sweet, smart, kind, cuddly, obedient and so beautiful.

She is a great sister and puts up with a lot from her 2-year-old sister Sunny-Bunny.
She is cleaver always coming up with new ideas and ways to make things work. She takes great pride in her accomplishments.

I love spending time with her. I love fixing her hair. She is so patient while we make each hair-do. Not that I’d try, but if I wanted to fix her hair for an hour straight, she’d allow it.


She loves avocados, cats, the Brady Bunch, her grandmas, jewelry, her cousins, smelling flowers, dancing, going on vacations and being tickled by her mom.

I love this baby girl more than I ever thought was possible. I cried the whole way to preschool and while I dropped her off. Thankfully she didn’t notice because she was with one of her best buds, our next door neighbor Hadyn.

I remember the day I met his mom. I was standing out in my driveway while their realtor showed them the house they were buying. I was enormously pregnant and Jenny told me she was expecting too (although you couldn’t tell by looking). I just knew our unborn children would be great friends.


My premonition came true as I watched them scamper off together to preschool hand in hand.
I’m sure I’ll see this pair go to Kindergarten together too and then in about 6 months they’ll be off to college.

I was lucky I had Jenny there with me who gave me a shoulder to cry on.
It's so great to have such wonderful friends as neighbors.

If my post-partum self I knew then, what I know and feel now, there would have been no reason to be blue. *This was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Don’t grow up too fast baby girl. I wish I could just bottle her and keep her forever as my four-year-old big girl.

*Besides meeting Steve.