Pigeon-B-Gone

We had kind of an exciting weekend, there is a lot I should talk about and I’ll get to it, but first….

Last Saturday we noticed a grotesque amount of bird crap on our front porch. Disgusting. SO we swept it off the porch and didn’t give it much thought until the porch was covered again on Monday. I looked for obvious culprits but didn’t see any. (I fear birds) Frustrated by the yucky mess I again swept the porch.

My nice nice neighbors took some pity on me and brought dinner to our house that night (I had some knee surgery done and was hobbling around). As I was bidding them farewell on our porch one of them looked up at the eve that hangs over the porch and said, “Whoa, look at that bird!”


There it was. Our new pigeon. The critter that had been leaving all the unwanted yuck on the porch.

It has to be the fattest pigeon I have ever seen. It looks more like a chicken than a pigeon. We tried to chase it away with a broom, but it merely waddled up the roof where we couldn’t reach it. We threw some pebbles at it, but it didn’t care.

So every day I have been out on the porch sweeping. The bird must have an eight to five job, because it is gone during those hours, but each night it returns.

CHAPTER TWO—The Sokol’s Strike Back

So we got on to YouTube because my Dad introduced me to all kinds of fix it yourself videos. Not that we could fix anything our selves, but people do. I wondered if anyone knew how to get rid of pigeons on there. Turns out, they do.

Three most popular options on YouTube, roosting strips (metal spikes), Christmas tinsel (birds are afraid of shiny stuff), and a fake owl (I guess owls eat pigeons so they are afraid of them).

So we went on down to the Lowes and got ourselves a fake owl. Alyssa decided it was her pet. Never mind that she is afraid of everything, but this owl, was somehow just right for her. She put it in the shopping cart sitting right next to her, put her arm around it and said,"oh owl...you are my pet." She wanted to sleep with it once we got home. She settled for the creepy owl perched on her book shelf watching her sleep (whatever).

When we got home Alyssa opened the front door and screamed out “pigeon…! We are going to scare you away with my owl!!!”


Anyway today we strung up the owl while the pigeon was at work. It sure is creepy looking. While Steve was up the ladder he swept the roof. When he got up there he realized he needed a shovel to get all the bird crap off the roof and out of the rain gutters. When all was said and done he scraped more than a pound of crap into a gross bag and threw it in the trash.

CHAPTER THREE—Will it Work?


Well, so far so good. The pigeon did come back after work. When he saw the owl there he perched on the other eve on the opposite side of the porch. He looked very nervous. While I was out there he looked down at me like, “Lady…What’s with the owl?” And I was like “I don’t know bird, but maybe you shouldn’t live here anymore and maybe you should try and clean up after yourself at your next home and maybe then an owl won’t have to move in.” And then I threw some rocks at the bird and he flew away.

So if you drive by our house and see a disturbing owl hanging off our roof, just know that it's not just because we love owls. He is doing a job that we can not do ourselves. (did you know pigeons are a federally protected bird, you can't shoot at them)

We haven’t seen him since and it’s been several hours. Our longest bird vacation since last Saturday. So we’re hopeful the YouTube do it yourself advice has done it.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The Rest of the Weekend
Also this weekend we watched BYU get smeared at our neighbors house (sorry cougars)
and saw that maniac Chris Martin with is band Coldplay at the Delta Center (or whatever they call it these days).
Eventful. Oh, and my knee is feeling a lot better.




And here is a picture of my injured self having the time of my life shopping at Wal-Mart riding a Rascal Scooter. A dream come true for me! I totally should have taken advantage of those things when I was hugely pregnant. I may have to have one more child now.

**UPDATE:
Another pigeon appeared late this evening. This bird was much trimmer than the last, about half his size. He appeared to be checking out the owl. Steve and I threw a bunch of pebbles Alyssa had so convieniently piled on our porch (she collects small pebbles and puts them in a pile on our porch??). It went away after that. We are skeptical and are wondering what the pigeons are up to. If we have to up the anti-pigeon defense system we will. Don't test me pigeon! You don't want to know what I am made of.